Pandora and the Magic Box

Via Something Weird: "Lovely Aphrodite, the goddess of love and narrator of this tale...is keeping an eye on things on earth from Mount Olympus while bumbling hero Theseus and his two muscle-bound buddies encounter danger and crack corny jokes on their way to King Minos’ palace. King Minos is married to the vulgar and voracious Queen Scylla. Minos discovers that his long-lost niece is the rightful ruler of Greece and...plans on having his servant Pandora use her charms to distract Theseus from his mission and lead him to the land of the Amazons where, hopefully, he’ll most certainly be killed. Meanwhile, on Mount Olympus, Zeus is in search of a “gullible schnook” to guard a wooden chest “full of trouble” and decides Theseus is the man for the job. Zeus tells Theseus to protect the box with his life, and the gods proceed to create mischief and mayhem for the unwary mortals."