Starship Troopers has it all.
It has space bugs, it has a lot of blood and it has 35-year-old teenagers.
The main character is Johnny Rico, who is an idiot and his dream is to be a front-line infantryman. The actor is Casper Van Dien who in the nineties was one of those actors who never made it past B-movies.
I don't like Rico being eaten by the first bug that comes along.
There is a moment when you don't know if you're with the humans, the bugs or Rico's mother who tells him not to enlist just because his girlfriend told him to, who is a bit of a jerk and also wants to be a pilot. I'm clearly on Rico's mother's side.
The one I like is Tish, who besides being in Rico's friend zone is as crude as a guillemot, she knocks walls down with her head to get rid of her migraine. I hope she becomes a squadron leader, she deserves it.
There's also Barney from How I Met Your Mother, who has telepathy and a ferret, so he obviously becomes part of the intergalactic FBI.
Halfway through the film, it's discovered that, since they're in the future and society here is more advanced, they have mixed showers. Mixed showers. MIXED. And not one penis joke. NOT ONE.
There's a minor incident in a C1 machine gun practice and it's Rico's fault, who screams for a doctor when his colleague's head has already been blown off. Rico isn't the sharpest pencil in the pencil case, as you've already guessed. He's given an administrative punishment. The "administrative punishment" consists of parading half-naked (what does it matter if the showers are mixed) and being whipped in public. I don't want to even imagine what it must be like to go and ask for unemployment. The future has its good things and its bad things.
Then there is a brawl between pilots and infantry because in the future there is still classism, but everything is fixed with a nice elbow fight. Then the infantrymen get drunk and all get the same ugly as hell tattoo. Damn, I've always wanted to get a blind guy and get an ugly as hell tattoo with someone... anyway, dreams that don't come true...
Halfway through the movie, I ask myself... And when do the bugs come? And why did they decide to destroy Buenos Aires specifically? Since France exists, why Buenos Aires?
Finally, they reach the planet of the bugs. When they arrive, it seems that they forget to shoot because of their nerves. I really understand, when I get nervous I forget how to park. The night leaves 10000000 dead humans vs 5 dead bugs. A great military maneuver.
Rico is left for dead (with his certificate and everything) and his companions start laughing. They also bring them beer and soccer balls at night. The truth is that the infantrymen have a great time when they are not being eaten by a bug.
Trish FINALLY gets Rico's ass. On the one hand, good for her, who has been going all movie long. But on the other hand, he is an idiot.
Well, in the end, the bugs are very intelligent and it turns out that they open your head to eat your brain and keep what you know. Don't worry, if they eat Rico's brain, they will stay the same, because he is an idiot. My God, I hate him. The bugs also shoot biodegradable missiles from their ass that come out of the ionosphere and reach human spaceships. The truth is that the movie has aged well.
Tish dies, leaving us with a great moral: The day you manage to get your crush, that day you die. But of course, you take it in a different way.
Rico's firecracker pilot ex-girlfriend is found by the bug queen but manages to survive and reunite with Rico. God creates them and they get together, I hate them separately and I hate them together.
In the end they capture the bug queen and Barney psychoanalyzes her and everyone applauds.
They won the war.
It's a great movie.
EvaWasteland
24 d